Lord, will you come?
Will you wreck this city with Your love?
A violent storm.
I want to get caught in Your waves
To drown in Your passionete affections.
Sometimes they feel like rage
But jealously You have watched Your bride engage in sacred rituals
Defiling the marriage bed,
this is too flipping good to not reblog. way ta go champ.
Now you see through a glass darkly, but someday you will see me face to face. Then you will be able to experience fully how wide long and high and deep my love for you, if you were to experience that now, you would feel overwhelmed to the point of feeling crushed. But you have an eternity ahead of you, absolutely garunteed, during which you can enjoy my presence in unrestricted ecstasy. For now, the knowledge of my loving presence is sufficient to carry you through each day.
I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. - Ephesians 3: 16-18
Last night I looked at me life and wondered what happened to the fire and the hunger I had just months ago and how i had fallen into this dark place once again. Somewhere along the way, I lost my fight. I remember in high school when depression had its hold on me, sucking the life from me, and numbing me to the core. But I also remember Gods redeeming and rescuing love in my weakest moment. Up until a few months ago, I fought daily to keep what God had given me: joy, peace, and a free spirit. My heart has grown so apathetic that I did not have the energy nor did I really even want to fight for those things anymore. All of this is a problem because God has called us to a life of freedom, but over the last few days I have begun to realize that it goes far beyond just me. Being called into the leadership of young people, I realize that if I am not free, if I am not hungry, if I am not fighting, how am I supposed to expect my kids to be let alone lead them to that place. I so much desire those things for them, but i have been doing little to get them there and started to loose faith that it could even happen. They say if there is an emergency while on a plane, you have to put your mask on before you are able to help anyone else. In doing so, God is asking that I go back to those dark moments and to allow Him to love me through that: 1 Corinthians 13: 7 “…love endures all things”. I see Him looking at me in those times saying “I still love you, my love for you is everlasting (Jeremiah 31: 3) and despite these things, you are not separated from that love (Romans 8: 38&39).” It is in that love that I am set free once again, daily to choose the truth and fight the lie of the enemy. So as I pray these things for myself, I also pray as a leader that the Lord would give me a deeper hunger to see these things for my students and where I doubt, that He would help me believe. My apathy has drained me, but the fighter spirit God has given me is being revived, not only for myself but for those that will come after me. Being a leader is hard, and I make lots of mistakes and sometimes I wonder why God would ask someone like me, but I do know that it is through a surrendered heart and willing spirit that He can do all things. There is nothing I would rather be doing. #worthit.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to be present, in the moment, to look at today and only today. I have found myself the last few weeks in a daze, feeling like Im in some kind of out of body experience, all in my head, thinking about tomorrow, or next week, or a year from now and thinking about what it will all look like then, what could but may never happen. Depression can sneak upon us so easily when we are not here today but this morning as I was reading, I stumbled across this verse and I can’t say enough how much it convicted, and comforted my heart: “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes”. - Matthew 6: 34 (The Message). On February 15th, it had been five years since my Opa passed away. While I was thinking about all the memories I have with him, I remembered something he always taught me and that was that today is a blessing, embrace everything God has to offer you today and be ready to give everything you’ve got for today. He taught me so many things, but this one has continued to resinate with me and as I remember his sweet spirit, I wake up everyday and decide live a life he would be proud of. To live daily following the King is one I believe would be just that. So God thank you for this day, a day I am alive, and will live like it.
In this world, being overwhelmed and anxious is a natural feeling, one that is even expected. But in the presence of the King, peace is stronger, hope is bigger, and safety is greater. So today, I choose to be in His arms, where my rest is found and I can go throughout my day without stress knowing that no matter what, my Daddy has got me. Thats a good place to be.